Two years ago, Matt’s brother organized a family getaway to Manitoulin Island at the end of May. We had a great time together, so this year he did it again. This time we went to Killarney in Northern Ontario. It was another wonderful experience. During that weekend, Matt’s Mom told us that when she returned home, she had an appointment for a CT scan to try to find the source of some back pain she’d been having for a while.
That scan led to scary doctor appointments, treatments, a couple of stays in the hospital, and, then last month, Matt’s Mom died.
Another hole in our lives.
I often say that Matt’s parents and I work hard at our relationship, but that it’s not hard. We prioritize each other and make sure we connect, through big things like weekends away and little things like emails about how our day went. We do it for Ellie and for Matt, and also for each other. We love and appreciate each other.
Every Monday, Ellie and I go to Matt’s parents’ house for lunch. It was a rare week when Matt’s Mom wouldn’t have a new shirt or hat or outfit for Ellie. She would comb through the children’s section at the library so that she had a stack of books to read with Ellie. She made sure she had food Ellie would like, and we always came home with enough Bear Paws to fill Ellie’s lunch pail for the whole week. And she and I would chat about everything.
Matt’s parents both support us in so many ways. We are different people, but we respect and accept each other. When Matt and I bought our first house, Matt’s Mom showed up on the first day and cleaned our bathrooms. When we bought the farm, she did the same here. I will always remember how when I finished Ellie’s treehouse, Matt’s Mom was so proud to share my blog post on her Facebook page.
When she was in the hospital, we talked about some things that are happening in the fall. She wanted to make sure we would still do what we planned. Right up to her last moment, she was assuring me that I would continue to do a good job with my work, the farm and Ellie.
That unconditional love is for me the epitome of family.
When we were in Killarney in May, Matt’s Mom was in a lot of pain. Yet she walked all over that little town, she went to every breakfast and dinner, she watched her grandchildren play, and she even went out in a canoe with Matt’s Dad. She worked hard, and it was worth it. She soaked up every moment with her family. And we soaked up every moment with her.
Home on 129 Acres 
I am so very sorry for your family’s loss!
Thank you for your condolences.
It’s a hard loss. I’m sorry for it. You’ll keep her alive in Ellie’s mind just as you have with Matt.
We will. Thank you for saying that.
Aww, Julia, I’m so sorry. This is indeed another blow. What a wonderful mother-in-law and grandma she was! I can’t remember exactly how old Ellie is, but hopefully she’ll be able to carry memories of her grandma with her throughout her life. And I know you will help her do that. Love and hugs to you at this difficult time. ❤️
Thank you. I hope so too.
Very sorry for your loss Julia. She sounds like a real gem. She will not be forgotten and her impact will continue to be felt.
Thank you Rob.
Dear Julia, Audrey spoke often and proudly of how well you do with raising Ellie, working hard in maintaining the farm you and Matt bought together and the beautifully well written notes/blogs you create. Audrey’s passing has left a notable hole in my heart too as we had been good friends for nearly 20 years. The hole that is left for you, Ellie, Steve, the rest of her family and friends is immense. The pictures you posted of Audrey with Ellie, Matt and Steve are beautiful. They are a beautiful reminder of the kind, thoughtful, generous person that Audrey was. She will be greatly missed. Her weekly lunch having you and Ellie over for lunch brought her joy as she told me about your visits. What a wonderful relationship you had with her and a blessing for little Ellie having such a caring/loving grandmother. May all those wonderful memories together bring you comfort and peace.
Thank you, Pam. You are a special friend for Audrey and Steve. I hope your memories bring you comfort and peace as well.
When I watched the grandkids playing obliviously to the rhythm of their own pace, I snapped as many pictures as I possibly could, mentally, and sent them silently to Audrey. I whispered to her, ” you gotta see them having so much fun, I know you are going to love it ! ”
I enjoy her cheerful notes in the morning, courageous and upbeat setting the tone for the day. I am blessed in such a way that I have cherished memories of our frequent conversations about the grandkids, gardens, jokes …anything and everything else.
She speaks highly of you and is very proud of you bringing up Ellie and doing a great job.
Audrey loved the “mother-in-law club” that you formed on Facebook. I’m glad that you connected so well.
This is heartbreaking. How fortunate you are to have so many good memories. It is wonderful that you were able to maintain the relationship after Matt’s death so that Ellie could have memories as well. My heart goes out to you.
Thank you. You’re very kind.
Oh my goodness Julia💕 I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. My heart feels for you. I would love to come and visit with you sometime. I always remember your friendship and how kind you were to me at McMaster. You’re in my prayers. Nola🌻
Thank you for your kindness, Nola. It’s so nice to hear from you. I remember you saying you wanted some ferns for your garden. Perhaps we can arrange a visit and some transplanting!
Hi Julia 🙂 didn’t know where your reply was/is and just seeing this now. yes, sounds like a plan – that would be awesome let me know when it’s a convenient time for you wishing you an awesome rest of your day Nola
I will Nola. Take care.