Fourteen years ago the farm became ours.
That night I wrote my very first post on this blog. It was brief. There was no picture.
The beginning
We bought a farm. After two months of waiting, a year and a half of looking and at least half my life dreaming, it’s ours.
This is the start of something.
“Something.” Do you feel the possibility in that word? I had no idea what might happen.
Now, “something” feels small to describe the past 14 years. My memories are full of people, projects, places, moments.
I’ve been thinking recently about time. When I tucked Ellie into bed on her birthday, I thought, “She will never again be seven.”
Never.
Time goes only one direction. When a moment is gone, we will never have it again.
I can’t go back to 14 years ago. I can’t bring back my Dad and all of our Saturdays working on the house. I can’t bring back Matt and our evenings together. I can’t bring back the parties, the walks with Baxter, the scratches with Ralph, the harvests, the sunrises, the snowfalls, the millions of moments that make up our life. I can’t go back for myself to the younger version of who I was. For me too, life goes in one direction.
But I can look ahead and do everything I can for this property and for Ellie and for the future.
Each day is a start of something. This property and the people who are part of it are so full of possibilities.
Home on 129 Acres 
Sad thoughts, but an encouraging post. I know exactly how you feel! ♥♥
Thank you. I was feeling very mixed as I was writing this. I wasn’t sure where it was going at first, but I was glad to find the bright side by the end. I’m glad you felt the encouragement.
Beautifully said. I look forward to your blog post every week. I have a recent follower. What happened to your husband, Matt? I tried to look back at previous post and did not see any entries. I’m so sorry. But I am glad that you are persisting and staying on the farm with your daughter and animals. I think it’s such a wonderful way for a child to grow up. I was in naval aviation for 20 years. And we always found that students who had grown up on a farm were more mature had so many more skills were critical thinkers and could work independently.
Thank you for being here. I’m glad you’re enjoying my posts.
Matt died in 2019. This post shares some of what happened: https://homeon129acres.com/2020/02/10/the-greatest-gift/
I appreciate your comments about farm upbringing. Those are some of my hopes for our daughter.
Julia, thank you so much for sharing these intimate details and thoughts. I am truly sorry. But I am glad to know now what happened. I have a better understanding as I begin to follow your journey. Having the background definitely puts things in perspective. I am so so sorry. Nobody should have to go through this so young. I am 76 and have made this journey with loved ones. But after a long long life. I can’t imagine what you and your family went through as a young couple with a small child. This makes me admire the life you live even more. Again, I appreciate your opening your life and your heart to to me and to all of the followers of your heartfelt blog. I’m not a religious person, but I like to think that our loved ones are at a place like the rainbow bridge where they’re able to look down on us and the life we’re living and that someday we will be united with all of those dear to us human and all the living creatures that were close to us during our time on this earth.
Thank you for your kind words. I like your vision for the afterlife and share your hope.
Good morning Julia on this bright sunny early March day. ☀️
In reading your post the phrase ‘onward and upward’ came to mind.
This is the definition that came up upon my search:
“Onward and upward” is a motivational idiom meaning
to make continuous progress, improve, or achieve greater success over time. It encourages moving forward after a setback or celebrating ongoing advancement. It signifies a positive, forward-looking attitude toward future goals or personal growth.
From what I know of the person you are Julia you do this very well.
Onward and upward. Words for us all to live by.
Have a wonderful day.
Hugs, Pam
I love that definition, Pam. I appreciate you saying that you see that in me. It is a philosophy I try to live by. Thank you.
I read something the other day about children, but in my case I thought about my grandchildren. It said something along these lines: your child has never been as old as he/she is today, and will never again be as young as he/she is today. It made me a little sad. I guess it’s a good reminder to savour all the savour-able moments we can.
14 years! It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, yet that also seems a short amount of time considering all the things you have done, all the living that has happened. At this point it must be difficult to imagine life without your 129 acres!
I love your phrasing of the savourable moments. Not every moment can be precious. If we believe that, I feel we’re putting too much pressure on ourselves, the people around us, our lives. But paying attention to savour a good amount of moments matters.