How has the beginning of 2024 been for you? Ours has been up and down. We had some birthdays and get-togethers, and we had some lows. We sledded in the fields and skated on the pond, and then watched the water level rise in a big thaw.
Friday was Matt’s and my 16th wedding anniversary. The day hurts less, but it’s still hard that he’s not here for it. As I was heading out to pick up Ellie from school, I turned on my music in the car, and the first song that came on (when I picked a random shuffle) was the song we danced to at our wedding.
At first, I wasn’t really in the mood. I believe I said something like, “Really? You think I can handle this right now?” But then I quickly switched to being grateful. Matt, my Dad, his Mom, the universe, whoever was sending me a message, and it was coming from a place of love.
Some people would say that moments like this are just coincidence. But I don’t agree. For me, they’re a sign that the universe is on my side. That Matt is still with me. That there is so much love.
So I turned off shuffle and put the song on repeat. Once from Matt to me, and the second time from me to him. Because while I receive what the universe gives me, I also want to send goodness out.
Here is some more giving and receiving, from me to you.
These mystery day trips were my favourite gift to give this Christmas–and they worked for kids and adults
What can the construction industry learn from Taylor Swift?
Three words to describe Arnold Schwarzenegger: surprising, impressive, thoughtful
See how many people you can smile at tomorrow
“joy is supposed to slither through
Joy Chose You by Donna Ashworth (via @harrybakerpoet)
the cracks of your imperfect life…
you can only be ready
when she appears
and hug her with meaning
because in this very moment
joy chose you”
This is the song (“Through the good times and the bad, I’ll be standing there by you”)
This week, I’m finishing off the month with something new. I’m donating blood today, which I haven’t done in many years. I’m also hoping to make a few tweaks in Ellie’s room or mine… or both if the universe is on my side.
Home on 129 Acres 
Good evening Julia,
I’m with you, I don’t believe in coincidences either. I love that your mind set turned to a positive in hearing yours and Matt’s first song that you danced to on your wedding day.
That’s some positive energy !
January for me has moved along without any real highs or lows to speak of. Our upcoming holiday to Cancun is approaching. I’m feeling both blessed in going but also sad in that this holiday was organized by Steve and Audrey that my husband and I were looking forward to enjoying with them. It was nice that my sister, when hearing we were going to cancel, offered to join us along with her husband. We’ll be raising a glass of red wine to Audrey while we are there, that’s for sure. I sure do miss her.
I listen to the podcast of Arnold Schwarzenegger that you posted. He is inspirational for anyone in seeking a ‘vision’ as a starting point. A lot of good insight there.
I hope February is a good month for you, Ellie and Steve.
Have a nice weekend.
Pam
You’ve turned your mindset as well, Pam, when you think about your trip this year. You will carry Audrey with you there, as I carry Matt with me. Thank you.
That’s really something that your song played on your anniversary. Wow. I would have taken that as a message too.
Yesterday was the 50th anniversary of the day my brother died. My other siblings and I had set up a zoom call to connect. We talked about the day, and I it’s the first time we all have done that, I believe. It was a really good call.
Then, later that evening, I was reading to my little grandchildren, and one of the books I picked, I THOUGHT was a book about a granddaughter teaching her grandmother to read. I had made a mistake, and it turned out it was one about a grandmother who gets dementia or alzheimer’s or something, and forgets her granddaughter. That is what happened to my mother. What a day for me to make that mistake! Luckily my grandchildren are very understanding of emotion. I want them to be able to talk to me, so it’s important to me that I be emotionally honest with them. So it was a day for tears… Maybe it was a message from my mother on that day. I hadn’t thought of that.
I will listen to the interview of Arnold Schwartznegger at some point. I really like him, he’s lovely.
What a day for you. I think it’s important to acknowledge these moments. I’m glad you had your siblings and grandchildren to share these memories. It’s also important to be real with our emotions. I often say to Ellie that I have so many feelings inside me that my body can’t hold them and they come out my eyes. She knows that about me and accepts it. I like thinking of it as a message from your mother. The universe and love are very powerful.
I like that way of putting it. In a way it’s true, as accumulated stress hormones are shed by our bodies by way of tears!