I enjoy setting annual goals for projects that we want to accomplish around the house and the property. As you can guess, I have a long list bouncing around in my brain, and the process of picking out a few areas to focus on usually starts a few months before the end of the year.
However, 2018 is going to be a very different year for us with the arrival of bébé.
Part of my philosophy with pregnancy and birth and our transition to parenthood and everything else that’s ahead is to try to take things as they come and not place a lot of expectations on myself.
So that’s changed the way I’m thinking about Home Goals for the coming year.
A lot of people start the year by choosing a word to guide them over the next 12 months. So rather than setting Home Goals for things that I’m not sure I’m going to have time to do, I’m going to go with a word this year.
Balance seems to be a very over-used word these days, but for me I feel it best describes what I’m looking for in the coming year.
I’m looking for balance between my new life as Mama and my old life as I-do-what-I-want-when-I-want. This is one of my huge anxieties about having a child. I love who I am and I love my life. I don’t want to lose that. So finding my balance in our new reality is really important to me.
I’m looking for balance in working around the farm and relaxing at the farm. I still have projects I want to do and ambitions for this house and property (like the indoor pool room). I’m not sure yet how we’ll do them with a baby and also with the changes in our income as I’ve moved to working for myself, but I want to make sure that I’m living at the farm as I want to–which means working as well as relaxing. I enjoy both equally, so I want to make sure that the load doesn’t tip too far in one direction over another.
I’m looking for balance in my marriage between Matt and me as we take care of the farm, the house, the baby and each other. We’re celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary this week, and this month marks 20 years since we began dating. I want to make sure we have time for cuddles on the couch and kisses in the kitchen and space for each other to be Matt and Julia (individually and together) and not just Daddy and Mama.
Going through Matt’s tumor treatment and tests (which will continue for awhile) has made me really savour all of the small moments, and I don’t want to take them for granted.
At the same time, Matt has reminded me that it’s important to embrace the normal. When every single moment becomes laden with meaning–and, if I’m being honest, fear–it’s a hard way to live. I’m continuing to work to find my balance between appreciation and complacency.
I’m looking for balance financially. Leaving my job has made me very conscious of our spending. Matt’s carrying all of our household bills, and I’m very grateful that he’s willing and able to do that. However, it’s been an adjustment for us both and sometimes I feel like I’m not contributing to our household. Plus, as I’m building my business, I don’t have the same funds coming in reliably every other week. I built up a reserve of savings before I began my leave, but I want to see that grow again, and I want to contribute to our household expenses and help build our savings for renos, education funds, retirement and other financial goals that we have.
For me, I often find that balance is about choices. Some choices are easy to make and some are hard. I often feel guilty when I choose not to do something, whether it’s as little as letting the weeds take over the garden or as big as spending time with extended family.
So as I’m working to maintain my balance this year, I’m working to remember what’s important to me and make choices based on what is best for me and my own family.
How are you approaching 2018? Have you ever chosen a word of the year?