How has the beginning of 2024 been for you? Ours has been up and down. We had some birthdays and get-togethers, and we had some lows. We sledded in the fields and skated on the pond, and then watched the water level rise in a big thaw.
Friday was Matt’s and my 16th wedding anniversary. The day hurts less, but it’s still hard that he’s not here for it. As I was heading out to pick up Ellie from school, I turned on my music in the car, and the first song that came on (when I picked a random shuffle) was the song we danced to at our wedding.
At first, I wasn’t really in the mood. I believe I said something like, “Really? You think I can handle this right now?” But then I quickly switched to being grateful. Matt, my Dad, his Mom, the universe, whoever was sending me a message, and it was coming from a place of love.
Some people would say that moments like this are just coincidence. But I don’t agree. For me, they’re a sign that the universe is on my side. That Matt is still with me. That there is so much love.
So I turned off shuffle and put the song on repeat. Once from Matt to me, and the second time from me to him. Because while I receive what the universe gives me, I also want to send goodness out.
Here is some more giving and receiving, from me to you.
These mystery day trips were my favourite gift to give this Christmas–and they worked for kids and adults
“joy is supposed to slither through the cracks of your imperfect life… you can only be ready when she appears and hug her with meaning because in this very moment joy chose you”
This is the song (“Through the good times and the bad, I’ll be standing there by you”)
This week, I’m finishing off the month with something new. I’m donating blood today, which I haven’t done in many years. I’m also hoping to make a few tweaks in Ellie’s room or mine… or both if the universe is on my side.
How was January for you? Does anyone else see signs from the universe? What are you hoping to accomplish this week?
One of my hesitations about blogging this year is whether I will have enough to share. The commitment of having a new post every Monday is completely self-imposed, but I like writing and sharing. And I like the motivation the blog gives me.
But sometimes I don’t feel like I have anything interesting to share. Case in point, this week. (A whole three weeks into January, and I already don’t have anything to write about.) This week you get a post about pillowcases. Although they are new pretty pink pillowcases.
I often find another benefit of blogging is that writing about the things I want to do helps me figure out how I will tackle them. For example, writing about the old headboard tucked up against the wall in my bedroom last week made me realize I didn’t need to find a spot for it in the cold cellar. I could put it in the barn instead.
So I carried the headboard out to the barn.
Enthused by the new breathing space behind my bed, I bought some new pillowcases. Two summers ago, I saw a picture of a navy bedroom with pink accents. It looked pretty and gave me some inspiration for how to freshen up my space. It only took me two years to act on it.
I’m loving the pink, and I have some ideas of where I can bring a bit more into the room… and how I can adjust the old king size shams and pillows to fit my double bed.
So even though getting rid of the old headboard and adding new pillowcases are little things, I’m sharing them today. Because these little things made me happy last week and they matter.
Have you made any little tweaks in your home recently? Anyone else take time to work through projects in your mind first? Who else has pink in their home?
Looking ahead to projects for 2024, I feel like I need a bit of a reset. So this year’s home goals list is pretty modest. There are some familiars (vegetable garden), some get back on track (coop), some finish it off (driveway) and some regroup (clean up).
Read on for more details about what I’m hoping to accomplish this year.
Driveway
In 2020 we built the garage and mudroom. In 2023 we built the patio. The last thing to finish off the south side of the house is to pave the driveway. I’m not paving the whole lane, but I would like to have one section with a solid surface. It makes for easier plowing and maintenance. It will also give our girl a smooth spot for biking and scootering, rather than riding circles inside the garage (or testing the limits of training wheels in the snow).
Coop
The coop returns for another year. First up, framing a new wall to close up the side of the barn. This has been on my to-do list for more than a year, and I haven’t done it. I met with one of the contractors who built our garage last week to see how much it will cost to have him build the wall. I expect it will be out of my budget, but talking through the plan with him has made me feel like maybe it is DIYable. And then I can save my budget for other things like eavestrough, electrical and fences.
Vegetable garden
As you saw in my Home Goals 2023 wrap up, the vegetable garden was a bit of a disappointment last year. I’m hoping we can get back on track and make some more progress this year.
Clean-up inside
This goal is probably my biggest reset. I’m currently feeling like every single space in our house needs tweaking, organizing, purging. I’m honestly not sure where to start as I also feel like I’m in the middle of a stack of dominoes. I need to move the old king-size headboard out of my room, but I need a space to put it, which means reorganizing the cold cellar (or stashing it in the barn). Reorganizing the cold cellar means building better lumber storage in the garage. (And I can play this game for pretty much every room in our house.) This goal is a good example of why it’s helpful to “just start,” because anything will be progress.
Clean-up outside
There is always an area to clean up outside. This year I’m focusing on two big brush piles, continuing to maintain the septic bed, and working my way further along the “junk pile.” With 129 acres, narrowing my focus is essential, but I feel like I made good progress on the clean up category last year, and hopefully this year I can build on that.
I’m looking forward to getting back on track, making progress, and crossing some things off my list this year. Stay tuned.
Do you have any home goals for this year? Anyone else feel like they need a reset?
Last year was a different kind of year. I started a new job as a college instructor. We took a big trip to Ireland and had other getaways and day trips. This meant that there wasn’t as much time for working on the farm.
As we start 2024, I feel like I left a lot undone last year. But as I look back at the goals I set for 2023, I feel like maybe I didn’t do too bad.
Here’s a review of some of what we did and last year’s home goals.
Coop
My plan was to have the coop completely finished by the end of the year so that we’re ready to bring home some chicks this spring. That did not happen. Our landscapers cleared the old foundation, Matt’s Dad helped tear apart the roof sections and burned a lot of the old wood. I piled more lumber that I hope to reuse and cleaned up the area inside the barn where I want to build. But we still have a big hole in the side of the barn and no pens inside. I’m not giving up, though. The coop will return this year along with other barn upgrades, like eavestrough, exterior lighting and probably some more electrical.
Patio
The driveway patio was the biggest success of last year. Our contractors were great and the result is fabulous. With a comfortable dedicated dining spot, we ate breakfast outside every day and many other meals as well. The herb garden surprised me with how well it did and we were still clipping herbs into December. The new border of rocks around the garden adds so much to the front of the house. The patio is a small area, but it’s added so much to the house and how we live. I am thrilled with how this project worked out.
Swing set
The swing set was another success–and something I accomplished (mostly) on my own. The swing set is big enough for our girl and strong enough for underdoggies. I think it will also grow with her as she learns to swing more on her own and uses the hanging bar and rings more. I also made a few other playground upgrades at the same time, spreading mulch, attaching a ladder to Ellie’s climbing tree, and adding a flag to her treehouse. It’s become a great play zone for her that will last for years.
Vegetable garden
The vegetable garden ties with the coop for my biggest failure. I started 2023 feeling optimistic and even ambitious, so I think that makes it harder that by fall the garden just… fizzled. The timing of my new job and our trip coincided with clean-up season, and eventually I closed the gate and walked away. The raspberries have not been pruned and dead plants have not been pulled. Never mind new mulch, compost, pathways, or growing beds. The garden is another project that will return though.
Turnaround garden
The turnaround garden saw some progress last year, though it’s still pretty haphazard. We added more transplants from a friend, some garden decor with my Dad’s bike and a memorial for Matt’s Mom with a strawberry hydrangea tree. Every garden is a work in progress and an ongoing project. The turnaround feels all that even more. We will keep working at it.
Ellie’s bedroom
A year ago, I wasn’t sure I could convince Ellie to switch rooms. But once we started the makeover, she was all in and eventually set a deadline for me to finish the project because she was so excited to move in. “Finish” is slightly conditional as there are a few details that I still want to do, but she is fully settled and has added lots of details to make it her own. And we’re both sleeping better with a little more space between us.
Like every year, 2023 was a mix. There is no shortage of work on a farm and a fixer-upper house. Just mowing the grass regularly felt like an accomplishment (and thank goodness my cousin came every other week to help me with that). But we did more than that too.
I used the rotary cutter more than I ever have before and did it on my own. Our septic bed and the upper edge of our front field are now in “maintenance mode,” which is big progress. We also did lots of clean-up: picking up litter, clearing overgrown areas, and cutting trees (Matt’s Dad gets credit for this).
Despite feeling a bit discouraged on the project front, I am proud of the balance we found last year. We did so many things, both on and off the farm, and the year was full of fun, love and joy. For us, that’s what life is about. It’s not what the house looks like or whether the property is perfectly groomed. What matters is the people who are here and the things we do together. Projects are part of that, but there’s a lot more too, and that guided our time in 2023.
Did you do any projects–big or small–at your house last year? Did anything disrupt your plans?
I’ve been musing about what word I want to choose (last year’s word) as my guide for this year. One word keeps coming to mind, but I’ve been resisting it.
Rest.
Rest is something I’m not good at. As I’ve reflected on my words of the year, I’ve realized past words have not really been stretches for me. (Balance … Slow … Resolve … Focus … Content … Choose.)
It’s not difficult for me to focus on Ellie, Cigo, the farm. I love the life we make and I’m pretty content overall.
Rest, though. That feels hard.
Then last night, as I scrolled through my phone after Ellie went to bed, I saw this quote:
“If busyness is your drug, rest will feel like stress.”
Oh, I can identify with that.
Then another quote from the same post:
“Every single human function is improved or enhanced with sleep.”
I’ve been thinking about sleep a lot this past year. Once I go to bed, I sleep. But making myself go there is hard. Busyness wins most of the time. I can always find something else to do. Part of it is the season of life that I’m in where working til 3am sometimes feels needed. Part of it is choice.
But I’ve read about how important sleep is for long-term health, and I know I need to better.
So as I stay up later than I should tonight to write a blog post I had decided earlier today to put off, I feel like the universe is speaking to me. The word that has been floating around in my head for the last few weeks came out into the world and appeared in front of my eyes. I try to listen to the universe when it speaks. So I’m choosing rest as my word of the year.
This will be a goal for me. I’m going to have to make some changes and come up with some strategies to choose rest. But I think it’s time to stretch myself a bit more and it’s worth the attempt.
Busy is my comfort zone. Rest is not.
But here’s to a more restful 2024.
Happy New Year to you. I hope that 2024 brings goodness, whatever that looks like for you.
I’m trying to think about what to say to wrap up this year. I write often about choosing to live a life of love and joy. That doesn’t mean that life is always easy, and this year represents that for me.
Matt’s Mom’s illness and death is an example of great love. It’s also an example of joy, as odd as that may seem. We put as much joy as possible into our time together, even while she was in the hospital. And now we try to carry on that love and joy by talking about her and including her in what we’re doing. How much she would have enjoyed the castle where we were in Ireland. How Grandma would be the best person to find Christmas pants (a critical wardrobe gap that caused much distress last week).
My teaching job this fall has been a lot of fun–and a lot of work. The feeling when I hook the students and get them arguing, discussing and thinking is awesome. I walk out of my classes energized. But there have been a lot of late nights to pull lessons together, finish marking and communicate with students. Nonetheless, I’m looking forward to next term.
As I’m writing this, Ellie is Christmas shopping with my Mom. This sums up love and joy for me–yet it’s not easy. Ellie is an incredibly giving little girl and fills Christmas with so much fun. That my Mom is giving her the experience of Christmas shopping and ensuring that I have some gifts is huge act of love. But it’s hard that Ellie doesn’t get to do this with her Daddy.
At the start of this year, I wrote about how important it is for me to choose. Choose my attitude, how I feel, how I react, how I spend my time. And choose to build my life around what is most important to me.
Life is not always easy, but choosing love and joy helps me to see more good than bad.
For Christmas, I wish you as much love and joy as possible. I will be back in 2024 with more projects, more country living and more love and joy. Merry Christmas.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”
— Desmond Tutu
Like so many people, I am watching what’s happening in Palestine and Israel (and Ukraine, Sudan and other places) right now. Like many people, I don’t know what to say. But I feel I need to say something.
Harming and killing people is wrong. Destroying and taking people’s homes is wrong (this goes for Indigenous peoples too). I believe that supporting groups or people who carry out these acts is wrong. Not speaking out for a ceasefire and working for peace is wrong.
I teach Ellie that people are different. Some people think differently than us, live differently and have different opinions about what’s important. But they deserve care, respect and peace. They deserve a home and they deserve to live.
Within our lives, we can determine our own values and make our own choices. But we are part of the world. As I wrote on Remembrance Day, it is my responsibility—everyone’s responsibility—to care for and protect each other.
Here are some other things in my thoughts these days.
On Canada Project is working to bridge information gaps, challenge divisive rhetoric, and lead important conversations grounded in human rights.
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
In the centre of the part of the farm we call the meadow, halfway between the pines and the pond, is a big old apple tree. This tree makes me think about the life of this property.
The woman who was born here in 1936 says there wasn’t a pond when she was growing up. It was a stream that they crossed every day on their walk to and from school.
Another former owner that I’ve met called the meadow the orchard. Just two apple trees remain now.
This year was an amazing year for apples. Unfortunately, the weight was too much for this big old tree. Several limbs broke, including one huge section. I feel like half the tree has fallen.
As usual, Matt’s Dad came out with his saws and helped me clean up. The apple tree has grown wild for as long as we’ve been here (and maybe before that). Pruning has been on my list, but I have not done it. There were suckers around the trunk, twigs going in every direction and the aforementioned broken branches.
Matt’s Dad cut most of the suckers. We left one big one, as I hope this could become a new tree if the original tree does not survive. He cut up the fallen limbs and I piled the brush at the edge of the meadow. I loaded the logs into the tractor and brought them up to the woodpile.
The tree could use more pruning. With all the work that Matt’s Dad did, I can now get to it a little more easily. And pruning goes back on the list for next year. Then we can maybe finally do something with all of those apples.
This tree has seen a lot of changes to the farm, the people and the surroundings. I hope that it will stay with us and continue to grow as we grow with the farm.
Lest we forget. Rudyard Kipling wrote these words in 1897. Today, 126 years later, I feel like we’ve forgotten.
I do not remember the First World War, when “lest we forget” first began to be associated with what was then known as Armistice Day. I do not remember the Second World War, when my grandfather left his family in Canada and fought in Italy and Holland. I don’t remember Vietnam or Korea.
My memories of war are the Persian Gulf, Bosnia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Sudan, Congo, Ukraine, Israel, Palestine. Conflicts that I’ve seen on TV, the news, movies, and social media, while I am safe here in Canada.
My experience of war is distant. But the lessons of “lest we forget” are close.
I saw my grandfather stand at Remembrance Day services every Nov. 11 with medals pinned to his chest. I wore a poppy, read In Flanders Fields, learned about the Holocaust and listened to The Last Post.
The lesson was always never again. These terrible things must never happen again. We must learn, so that we remember, so that we do not repeat.
I learned the lessons of lest we forget, and then I have watched conflict after conflict, genocide after genocide happen again and again. We have forgotten.
In some ways, it’s easy to forget. I feel safe. Israel, Palestine, the Ukraine, Sudan are all far away. My family doesn’t live there. What happens there doesn’t affect me. Why should I care?
I recently heard Malcolm Gladwell paraphrase author James Keenan to say, “Sin is the failure to bother to care.” If we stand by and do nothing when we could help, we are in the wrong.
The lesson of lest we forget is that I am part of the world, and it is my responsibility—everyone’s responsibility—to care for and protect each other.
Remembrance isn’t just about the past. It is about the present and the future. How we behave now, tomorrow and the day after that.
Last week, Ellie and I came home after 10 days in Ireland. We were there for Matt’s niece’s wedding.
When the invitation first came through I dismissed it immediately. Then I started to think. Why couldn’t we go to Ireland?
Matt’s parents and I talked, and we decided to go together. When Matt’s Mom was dying, she wanted to make sure that Ellie and I would still go on the trip. After she died, Matt’s Dad wasn’t going to go but then he decided to. So the three of us went off to Ireland.
Two summers ago (shortly after the wedding invitation first arrived), I adopted a philosophy of say yes. If something was happening or we were invited to do something, I was going to say yes and figure it out. This pushed me out of my comfort zone a bit but it opened us up to so many amazing experiences. Ireland was part of that.
Ellie, Matt’s Dad and I had 10 days to travel around, see new things, share some incredible experiences and be together in a different way. It was a special trip that I will not forget. I’m grateful to Matt’s Dad for making this trip happen, and I’m grateful that I said yes when the opportunity came along.
Here are some Ireland links for this month.
Our trip started with a hawk walk at the National Bird of Prey Centre. An amazing experience to learn about birds of prey, see them up close and have a hawk fly to our hands.
Watching a little dog herd sheep with the Atlantic Ocean in front of us and Benbulbin mountain behind us was a unique morning.
Derry was a surprise. When I was planning our route it was simply a place to sleep and break up a long drive. We had an amazing afternoon walking the ancient wall all around the old city. An incredible journey into history.
The Titanic museum in Belfast was another incredible journey. Belfast’s evolution, the construction of the ship, the sinking, the wreckage discovery were all presented in a way that truly took us on a journey and created so many emotions.
We’re settling back into our regular routine this week, though with a little celebration for Hallowe’en. More opportunities for fun, love and joy.
What do you do that takes you out of your comfort zone? Have you ever been to Ireland? Any tips for travelling with kids? Are you celebrating Hallowe’en?
Home on 129 Acres 